fairly recent writings

I'd love to hear thoughts on Rain-Washed, especially.

anfechtung
this night is dark
no snowflakes fall to lighten the world with their white weight
and the stars won’t show their far, faint light

-
Rain-Washed
When the rainfall comes to the streets, the sidewalks
and the asphalt are cleansed from the grey-brown of dust
to almost obsidian sheered with a layer of light.

My soul is this street where the dust of ungrateful
has slowly replaced my wonder with apathy,
has covered and blurred the magic to commonplace.

Your grace is the grey that falls finely around me,
and shimmers in silver in thousands of puddles,
and washes the soil of complacency from me,

until all of this street rejoices to be
and to soak up and shine back the clear light of heaven.


thankful today: #233-244
-the sweet and strong of wine
-fumbling through part of the Messiah with my choir. We sounded nothing like this, but we are going to a Messiah sing-along on Sunday and are hoping to enjoy ourselves. :)
-Levin in Anna Karenina. (‎"...there was another voice in his heart that said that there was no need to surrender to the past and that it was possible to do anything you wanted with yourself. And in obedience to that voice he went to the corner and began exercising with the two thirty-six pound dumbbells there, trying to make himself feel vigorous.")
-Christmas essay by Rachel Jankovic! Funny, sweet, realistic, encouraging.
-extra work at Christmastime
-a car whose belt still whines sharply, because it hasn't broken yet! Need to get that fixed...
-tall stretchy striped socks
-Mr. Appel and his beautiful prayer at my graduation 7 months ago
-crazy-laughter time with roommates
-that moment you put the last piece of tape on a Christmas package
-co-op chocolate
-beautiful sad songs like The Dimming of the Day (Alison Krauss)

Doug Jones: Mary Bursting

Great essay on the inexpressible glory of this season we are celebrating.

Christmas is a-coming

Niece and I, during our delightful tree-hunting expedition. By the huge, gorgeous tree for my parents' house.

Moscow living room on Sunday evening. Cozy fire and popcorn-stringing mess, and our fine little tree.

Roomies: me, Emma, Maria, Tali, Becki

Even now

After a weekend of unbelievable craziness, I am here on a Monday morning, sick, tired, unable to go to work.

Saturday I drove home. The rest of the day included a whirlwind amount of Stuff. I know I usually write oodles about the good times I have, or write a never-ending thankful list about it, but this time, I'm just gonna say - my 5 year old niece asked me to give her piggy back rides twice and sat with me on the couch, and my 5 year old nephew sat and drank hot chocolate with me and talked about his birthday and what he wanted for Christmas and held my hand for a while as we tromped around looking for a tree. Those were two of the best things about the day. And I have to say - getting to see my friend's Thanksgiving baby, and finding 5 Christmas trees with all my siblings, and getting the lights on Mom and Dad's at last, and eating pizza made by Laura, and singing happy birthday to the best 8 year olds in the world, and watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas, were also definitely highlights of the day.

Sunday I drove back to Moscow. Sunrise on the way, advent sermon, Winco shopping where we ran into dozens of friends, mid-day dinner at Fraser's, walk around the lovely UI campus with friends, lots of coffee, baking cranberry-walnut-orange muffins, stringing popcorn and setting up our tree, Lisa's Thin Man movie party and eggnog, and more time with friends. All very good.

But last night I felt horrible, and this morning still pretty sick. You know those mornings where you are coughing up the grossest stuff for at least an hour and two cups of hot tea and a steamy shower don't really help your congestion or throat that much... Too sick to go to work, and cold enough I'm staying under this blanket-robe Snuggie thing, and late on my rent bill, and my computer also decided to die yesterday and needed to be all backed up to save things that are important. It's an UGH morning.

Perfect time to write a thankful list, and to pray. Yes indeed.

(220-232 giving thanks)

-This weird Snuggie that my arms go through and that drags on the floor behind me when I walk, making me feel like a little kid in a grown-up's bathrobe

-Apple cider and apple cinnamon tea

-A gracious employer who cares more about how I feel than that I am missing work

-A gracious landlord who accepts late rent

-The book of Matthew, especially the Beatitudes (my reading this morning)

-A tree with lights, popcorn and ornaments in my living room

-Tylenol and Benadryl, allowing me to sleep last night

-Tali making lunch for us both

-That there is no snow; although I personally want it, its absence means Tali can borrow my car easily

-That I am at home; although I hate missing work, if I was there I would be spreading germs and not getting rest.

-That I am not in the choir for the Christmas concert this week; although I miss it like crazy, if I was a member of the choir I would be stressed about being sick, and when Thursday comes I would not be in the audience getting to enjoy the music in a different way than when one is presenting it.

-A way to back up computer files

-The possibility of a new job

Through the Dark

Alexi Murdoch is one of my new favorite singer/songwriters. The simplicity and homeyness of his acoustic guitar and his voice and oftentimes his lyrics as well comfort, stir, gladden, engage. Wikipedia, the infallible source of all wisdom, tells me he was "born in London to a Greek father and Scottish-French mother and raised in Greece, just outside of Athens until he was ten, when his family moved to Scotland," so of course some of his awesome comes from that background.

Through the Dark just came on my station. Brainlessly simple, but good. Good for a cold night that seems so very unlit. Good for a night whose edges seem to crumble. Good for a night of sniffles and tea and chapstick. Good for a night that calls me to curl up under a soft blanket and dreams for at least a couple of days.

A friend just shared this...

I had to do the same. Later tonight, I plan to go look it up in Orthodoxy and read the context.

‎"The outer ring of Christianity is a rigid guard of ethical abnegations and professional priests; but inside that inhuman guard you will find the old human life dancing like children, and drinking wine like men; for Christianity is the only frame for pagan freedom. But in the modern philosophy the case is opposite; it is its outer ring that is obviously artistic and emancipated; its despair is within."

-Chesterton

(As always, clicking on the photos will enlarge them to full size)





















Giving thanks 206-219
206. Christmas lights draped over and around the windows
207. a pile of clean dishes in the sink and on the counter
208. Tali's guitar - when she plays it, when Maria plays it, and when I try to play it
209. Adele
210. balls and skeins and tangles of yarn of various colors
211. sitting around the house Sunday afternoon with roomies, crafting Christmas gifts and listening to Wodehouse on audiobook
212. a clear windshield on an icy cold morning
213. wire whisks in the kitchen
214. central heating
215. the old jacket I found at home - dark blue, too large for me, pocketed and collared, and (once again) very boyish
216. laughs and funny moments with my student that are deep and real and distract us from school for a few minutes at least
217. Adam's old fashioned crunchy peanut butter, sitting in my cupboard right now
218. Gilbert Keith Chesterton
219. Thanksgiving week and the good times and great foods I shared with family