Fallen Hearts

Bohun staggered back against the wall, and stared at him with frightful eyes.
"How do you know all this?" he cried. "Are you a devil?"
"I am a man," answered Father Brown gravely; "and therefore have all devils in my heart."

- G. K. Chesterton, The Hammer of God




The heart is deceitful above all things,
And desperately wicked.

- Jeremiah 17:9




For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lewdness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness.  All these evil things come from within and defile a man.

- Mark 7:21-23

Around here

It is summer around here, and these are good times for exploring. For going to a lake

for walks in the lively green woods

for campfires

for cooking in cast iron, for veggies

It's a good time for photography with friends, and for staring at sky and earth

for finding patterns in things

for discovering new flower faces in the yard

There are so many things I haven't photographed. Granite Point on the Snake River. Maria sketching in the backyard. The yard after I mowed it diagonally. The eagle and owl and snake at the Reservoir. My brand new niece open her eyes straight into mine. The fireworks in my grandparents' yard.

There are so many times that are good and can't be captured in pictures, but need to be remembered.  Iced coffee with my sister and talking about our work like grownups. TV shows that are completely ridiculous, but fun because of who I'm watching with. Going to the nursing home in Pullman and having Dodie not want to let go ot my hand. Meeting new friends in a coffee shop and having them feel immediately like old friends. Conversation with Dr. Wilson about snakes and toads. Heaps of chunky sauce. Laughter with my student. Convicting sermons. Singing with all of the strength in me. The relief of cutting yourself off from something unhealthy and knowing what it's like to pluck an eye and throw it from you. The heat rising from the pavement under the thin soles of my sandals.

God is mighty. I am broken. Christ is grace. His world is gorgeous.

Annie Dillard: when she's optimistic in spite of it all

"I am a frayed and nibbled survivor in a fallen world, and I am getting along. I am aging and eaten and have done my share of eating too. I am not washed and beautiful, in control of a shining world in which everything fits, but instead am wandering awed about on a splintered wreck I've come to care for, whose gnawed trees breathe a delicate air, whose bloodied and scarred creatures are my dearest companions, and whose beauty beats and shines not *in* its imperfections but overwhelmingly in spite of them, under the wind-rent clouds, upstream and down. Simone Weil says simply, 'Let us love the country of here below. It is real; it offers resistance to love.'

I am a sacrifice bound with cords to the horns of the world's rock altar, waiting for worms. I take a deep breath, I open my eyes. Looking, I see there are worms in the horns of the altar like live maggots in amber, there are shells of worms in the rock and moths flapping at my eyes. A wind from noplace rises. A sense of the real exults me; the cords loose; I walk on my way."

-Annie Dillard, Pilgrim at Tinker Creek, p242